When a Dolphin Laughs at You, You Know Change is Needed

I have what's called an FSA -- flexible spending account -- that I can put towards medical things that are usually out of pocket.  I've generally never had a problem spending it over the year, as I used to go to acupuncture more often.  But now that I've had my gall bladder out, I've been much healthier, and I haven't gone as much.

The fiscal year for the FSA ends on March 31 and resets on April 1, and I realized I had a lot of money left on it.  And if I don't spend it -- the company gets to keep it.  There was no way I was going to allow them to get all that dough, especially since it's my money to begin with.

What to do?

The solution was to go to Kaiser to get a new prescription for my glasses and choose several new ones.  And that I did -- I got four new pairs of glasses, and it was so fun to get to choose more than one.  I usually wear contacts, but I do wear my glasses every night, and I do get kind of tired of them.  I also got some prescription sunglasses (which I've always thought I should have, but have never gotten) as well as some really nice non-prescription ones.

The FSA site says that non-prescription sunglasses are "potentially eligible" if they get a letter from my eye doctor stating that I need them.  So I wrote to him and asked if he might do just that for me, as my thought was that anything I got at Kaiser would be far better than anything I could get at your everyday, garden-variety drug store -- and these are my eyes, after all.  Have to keep them safe! Right away on Monday morning I received a reply from him saying that my medical record stated I was "light sensitive", and that he would therefore "prescribe" over-the-counter sunglasses as a necessity.

w00t! as they say in the gaming world.

So I got some really nice Oakleys, which I've always wanted, and some classic Ray Ban Wayfarers.  As I still had a load of money left, I then went back and bought a second pair of the same Oakleys, reasoning that if something happened to my first ones, I'd have a backup pair already in place.  I'd likely never have that much money left over to spend again, and so since I did this time -- I may as well use it up as much as I could.  I also got a pair of cute white ones by Guess.  All polarized and very nice.

I had a pair of black Wayfarers (these are a dark almost tortoiseshell brown) that I bought when I was in the Air Force when they were on sale.  But, a few months later, they were stolen.  I hope whoever took them got a lot more use out of them than I did.

When I was about 12 or so, I had a pair of electric blue, cheap, Wayfarer-style sunglasses.  I LOVED them, and thought they were really cool (well, I was 12.  It was the 80s....)

That summer, my family and I took a trip to Hawaii.  One of the things we did was go to Sea World, and one of the shows we watched was with dolphins.  It was in a below-ground room built so that you could see below the water as well as above it for the tricks they performed.   

While we were waiting for the show to begin, I went down to the tank to watch the dolphins swim around.  I was so excited.  Dolphins!  Close up!  One of them stopped and looked at me, and I swear it had an amused expression on its face.  Then it began making its squeaking-cluck noises and its head kept bobbing up and down.

I got the distinct feeling I was amusing it somehow.  That it was -- laughing at me.  Why? I wondered.  My -- glasses, perhaps?  My totally cool, electric blue Wayfarers?  Surely not.

I took them off, and the dolphin stopped laughing, but still continued to watch me -- still with the deeply-amused expression (I remember also thinking how shiny and black its eye was, and how intelligent it seemed).  I put the glasses back on.  It started laughing again.  Took them off -- laughter stopped.  Put them back on -- laughter.  Finally I took them off and slipped them into my pocket. After a moment of watching me a bit more, the dolphin swam away.

I trudged back up to where my parents were and said, glumly, "I want a new pair of sunglasses.  The dolphin just laughed at mine."

I got a new pair at the gift shop.

The electric blue ones got tossed into a drawer when I got home, and eventually they just kind of disappeared.  I felt no loss.  I still think of those glasses sometimes and laugh as I'm perusing them at Rite Aid.

The Undersea World of Jacques Cousteau meets What Not to Wear.

So at least these are all real and would likely get, I think, approval from that dolphin, my friendly, marine personal shopper.  We know they're highly intelligent, but who knew they also have fashion sense?